Rock Star

One thing I’ve never dreamed of being is a Rock Star. I admire many, adore some, and would support my kids if that is what they wanted to do. Interestingly, now that I don’t have to be dressed up and in the office each day, I seem to be channeling my inner-rock star. I swear that I have found one reason or another to party most nights and every weekend since I’ve been home. There are several issues with being a rock star, the biggest plaguing me currently are: not fitting into my skinny jeans, spending more money than usual on concealer for the major bags under my eyes, not getting enough time to write my blog and moving out of contention for Mother-of-the-Year.

Last weekend hubby and I went to Philly for a college friend’s wedding where we packed in pretty much everything we could. My sister and her beau are in town from CA this weekend and we are doing our best to show them a good time. And Thursday we go to spend the weekend relaxing at the Greenbrier to celebrate hubby’s big 4-0. I’m normally a planner (we already have our vacation booked for next summer) but with all of this partying I’m operating just-in-time which has been an interesting experiment (one I don’t want to repeat anytime soon). Friday night we showed up to one of my fav dinner spots in the city with a reso made online earlier in the week. The only problem – reso was for two people and there were four of us – oops. My last couple of weeks have been like this – which is a bit unnerving for a type-A planner like me.

Luckily my life as a party animal has come during the school year which means there isn’t as much pressure to plan daily activities for the little ones and (most importantly) I get to take advantage of nap time when my double life starts to catch up with me – which is important not only for my appearance but also helps me keep my patience with my kids (at least most of the time!).

I think I’m a bit too old to be leading this new life and looking forward to recharging my batteries next weekend in time for lots of fun family fall and winter activities.

Lessons I learned this week:

·       Moe’s Southwestern Grill caters a good meal for a 4-year-old birthday party

·       You have to be at the airport, with boarding pass and through security 30 minutes before your flight is scheduled to depart (yes, we learned this the hard way!)

·       Leading a double life as a SAHM and a rock star is exhausting!

FOUR

J turned 4 yesterday. It’s hard to believe that four years ago hubby and I were on our own. Going out without scheduling a sitter, sleeping in, relatively simple travel, did I mention sleeping in? Lots has changed in the last four years, new house, three kids, new ‘job’.

I’m pretty sure that this is one of the first birthdays that will be remembered, so I tried to make it a bit special (donut with a candle for breakfast, balloons to greet him in the morning, special birthday outfit, treat of choice for school). I think the first birthday I remember is 6 but as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t have a lot of childhood memories. My theory is that if I create rituals for my kids on special occasions that we continue every year, they will be able to recall them once they become adults. We’ll see if it actually works.

In the spirit of using every (well, okay ‘some’) moment as a teaching moment, I decided to reinforce the number four yesterday (four pieces of everything at lunch time, etc). Not sure how much I was teaching as both J and L know the number four – but it was fun at least. It was also fun when we happened to be number four in car line this morning.

When I was thinking of the number four I recalled a conversation that I’ve had several times since E was born about everything accommodating a family of four. Once you hit five things get complicated – cars, restaurant tables, hotel rooms (two double beds), event seats (easy to get four in a row). Many have said that once you have three kids you may as well have 10 because things get so much more complicated. I can tell you that when J turns 10 I will NOT be making comments about having 10 kids!!!

We’ve been giving the ‘now that you’re four you have more responsibility and more is expected of you’ speech for one day and tonight when giving his final good nights he said he wanted to be three again. If only it were that easy – pretty sure I would be 30 again this year.

Lessons I learned today:

·      Road work in our neighborhood brings lots of trucks which means hours of entertainment for a certain 2-year-old and 4-year-old

·      Always buy one extra balloon to accommodate the one that will inevitably pop on your way home

·      Instituting rituals might help my kids remember their special days, but as their mom I’m sure going to remember them all

Parenthood

I often catch myself in the middle of the day looking at my kids and wondering how I got here. I mean, I KNOW how it all happened but the fact that I’m a parent, like, forever – that’s just crazy talk! Then I start to ask myself all of the hard questions that go along with parenting:

·         Am I teaching my kids the right things?

·         How will we handle the ‘hard’ conversations?

·         Will they make the right choices?

·         Will they be happy?

I know that these are the questions that every parent asks themselves and I know it will take a loooonnngg time to know the answers (if ever). I wonder if we will be able to measure incremental progress. At 4, 2, and 6 months we seem to be doing an okay job – they usually follow the rules, they say please and thank you (most of the time), they don’t talk back and they usually do as we ask. It’s not now that I really worry about, it’s when they start having to make choices that could really affect their lives (drugs, sex, etc). Once I had kids, I knew I would likely be at home with them during their middle school & high school times – just to be around if they needed me and to have a finger on the pulse of their activities to guide them through those difficult choices.

I’ve seen a lot of kids grow up despite their upbringing. I’ve also seen a lot of kids from privelage throw it all away. I wonder how these kids were raised and try to gleam lessons from their lives to translate into the raising of my kids. I’ve read a lot of parenting books and often take something from them (an article I read once talked about how telling a child that they were smart resulted in them not trying very hard. So instead of telling my kids how smart they are I try to tell them how proud I am for how hard they tried). I’m hopeful that I am reading the right things, shadowing the right behaviors and making the right parenting decisions. For now, I’ve decided that the most important things at this stage (and maybe as they get older too) are to be consistent when disciplining them, keep them out of harm’s way, be on the same page with hubby on how we approach every situation, hold them accountable for their choices, give them the appropriate level of responsibility and constantly make sure they know that they are loved .

Today’s difficult parenting decision was when L got to choose the pre-bedtime show. J did not agree with L’s choice and was very sad about it. I knew that L would watch about 90 seconds of the show and was tempted to let J get his way. But I knew that following through on my original decision would send messages to both L and J and hopefully one day they will understand that they don’t always get their way.

What I do know for sure is that my kids are happy, they get along with each other, and our babysitters come back – so we must be doing something right!

Lessons I learned today:

·       It takes about 4 months for a two year old to get comfortable in a new environment – I’m happy to report that yesterday L didn’t want to leave the gym because she was having so much fun (that’s a long way from sitting in front of the ladies working out crying out for me!)

·       Planning a weekend away without kids takes a lot of work (and notes!)

·       Parenting is hard work, keep your fingers crossed and hope you’re doing the right stuff!

What I Miss Most

Since I’ve ‘retired’ many people have asked what I miss most about working. I didn’t really have one thing that I missed the MOST. Of course, I miss the people – many of whom I’ve known for over a decade, I miss the intellectual stimulation, I miss the adult conversations & laughs. But there wasn’t one thing that was tugging at my heartstrings pulling me back into the corporate world. Until yesterday.

I’ve been accumulating fall/ winter wardrobes for the kids and sprinkling in a couple of non-professional items for myself. Plus, I was in need of a special occasion dress for a wedding hubby and I are going to this weekend. So, yesterday I was running these errands and went to DSW (Designer Show Warehouse – for those that aren’t familiar it’s HUGE and has all kinds of designer shoes, even high end selections). It was the first time since I quit that I wished I was still working. I miss all those fancy shoes!! I have kept a couple of my favorites (which I haven’t worn once since I left work) and have absolutely no reason to get any more– which makes me incredibly sad (I did try on several pair knowing that I had no need to buy them, but they were so cute on!). I walked out of DSW with a $21 purchase (using my $10 reward certificate), which was the smallest amount I have ever spent there.

I recognize that buying shoes is not a good reason to go back to work. I also realize that if this is the thing I miss most about working, I made the right decision to stay at home with my munchkins. I am pretty sure, however; that I will continue to covet a good pair of shoes and probably make a few excuses to continue acquiring new ones (and I wonder why my children like shoes…).

Lessons I learned today:

·         I will get emotional on this day each year and I’m okay with that

·         Dress kids in layers (or bring extra clothes with me) for outdoor evening meals in September

·         The size of my shoe wardrobe has decreased but my love for shoes has not

What a Difference a Year Makes

Like many, I am a Facebook user and I’ve noticed they have added a new feature about your post a year ago today – whenever it shows up on my page I think about how little has changed in my daily routine (1^st Pumpkin Spice Latte of the year a year ago today and interestingly today I had my first Pumpkin Spice Latte for this year).

Today, however, it was clear how much really has changed this past year.  Besides the obvious – retired from my job and had another kid - today J had a soccer game and it really hit home. Last year (when he was almost 3 and we admittedly started him too early at a sport he had really no exposure to), J was a mess on the soccer field. He was fine at practice, just kicking the ball around but when game time came he barely saw the field. It was so bad that hubby wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near J during the games because he would get so mad that J would cry instead of play ball.

We’re two games into this season and the change is astonishing. J is much more aggressive and very into the game, even when on the sideline. Change doesn’t happen easily though  and during his first game we saw a lot of tears. Granted, it was while he was playing (and in 4 instances while he scored a goal), but there way crying for a majority of the time he was in. Today, I’m happy to report, there were tears only at the very end (after he got robbed of a goal and pushed onto the ground – 4 year old soccer is rough!).

A year ago I was about 2 minutes pregnant with E who is now almost 6 months old and is growing like a weed. Also a year ago we were getting a full night of sleep on a regular basis in our house – not so much these days. Both L & E have taken to waking up multiple times during the night which makes for a tired mommy and daddy.

I wonder what we will be doing a year from now… planning J’s 5^th birthday party (wow, really?), watching J AND L play soccer on Saturdays, chasing E as she runs around the house. One thing I know for sure, every year at this time I will take a moment to remember all of those lost on 9-11.

Lessons I learned today:

·         The salmon at Longhorn is surprisingly yummy

·         L is quite the monster when she doesn’t get her proper nap

·         ‘They’ (whoever they are) are right – the days are long but the years go by SO quickly

Singing My Praises

One of the biggest differences as a stay-at-home mom from the professional world that any mom (working or not) can attest, is the amount of praise you get for the job you do.

As I think I’ve shared previously, I am a very competitive person - I like to win, I like to get my way and I like it when my children do as I say. As a SAHM I’m pretty sure I’m not ‘winning’ any races, I sure don’t get my way very often, nor do my children choose to listen to me all the time. But surprisingly, at the end of the day I feel pretty successful.

Anything I do, I try to do it to the best of my ability - not because I think that anyone else expects it of me but simply because I expect it of myself. Let’s take my organizing project, for example. I’m currently on day 2 and haven’t progressed passed the kitchen workspace and pantry (which is kind of the workspace annex, what with the printer, printer paper and all). When hubby got home tonight I was sure to parade him through all of my stellar accomplishments for the day.

I also have to admit that it makes me pretty happy when out of the blue J tells me that I’m a good mom. I’m not sure why he says it. It’s usually not right after I’ve corrected his manners or prepared an especially healthy lunch for him. But it still makes my heart smile.

I came across this article (http://www.morningsun.net/living/x934432237/The-Invisible-Mother)  today, posted by a friend on FB, and I thought it was particularly piognent. It was also the inspiration for today’s blog topic. I hope that all of the moms out there take heed and know that I’m giving you tons of kudos for the job you do!

Lessons I learned today

·       The large purse contains lots of treasures to keep L busy during car line – today it was a comb

·       Rainy days, with good naps and some mellow music make for some kind, well-behaved children

·       Getting to know my kids better and watch them play during the day is praise enough for this job

Sweet Dreams

I always go in to give my kids one final kiss goodnight before I hit the hay and always whisper ‘sweet dreams’. For almost 4 years they have taken this wish to heart, until now….

For the last several weeks L has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming for ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’. At first we thought it was night terrors, but after a few days we realized that it was just a bad habit. We were hoping that she would grow out of it and return to her good-sleeping self…. No such luck. Night before last she woke up SIX TIMES (plus E woke up once to eat – which is also a new phenomenon). So, as any good parent of a two-year-old would do, we began to negotiate. Needless to say our tactics didn’t work so well (we would be terrible international spies). Granted, she only woke up twice (11:30 pm and 5am) but we opted to play hardball in hopes of breaking her. Instead, she ended up waking us and the baby up – even J was a bit more tired than usual this morning and complained about L’s crying. I’m not sure what the remedy is (or even the cause at this point), but I’m hopeful that we’ll get to the bottom of it soon.

As you might remember today (Wednesday) is laundry day for our bed linens. I am always excited to catch some z’s on Wednesday nights as I find I sleep so well with some clean sheets. I remember an Oprah episode a while back where she mentioned that her sheets were washed every 3^rd day. As soon as I discover how to make my millions, I’m thinking I might adopt this strategy! I also sleep with a fan; not so much for the air circulation but for the noise of the motor. This is a sleep time habit passed down to me by my mother and grandmother, so I would be breaking family tradition by not introducingit  my children, right? In my defense I think that the noise helps drown out all of the background noise of the house (crying babies included).

Lessons I learned today:

·       Need to set the alarm when daddy doesn’t need to wake up at his usual time – everyone got dressed and fed (L in the car – a nice activity for car line!) just in the nick of time

·       The process of getting organized can get quite messy (day #2 and I’m still making progress!)

      ·       When your children don’t have sweet dreams, sadly neither do you

Hello again

So sorry to all of my faithful followers for being away for so long. I been stuck in a period of crazy busy, combined with a bit of lazy and a touch of pinterest.com addiction. Anyway, things continue to move along in our house with the usual hiccups along the way.

Both J and L have started school… Alleluia. J started last week with a phase-in period, today was his first ‘full’ day (9am – 11:45am). L has her phase in this week and starts full time on Monday (M & W 9:30 – 11:30). So while I really don’t know what my ‘school-year’ life will be like quite yet, I must say I’m getting kinda excited!

During the last couple of weeks I have discovered that I have become incredibly unorganized (lost insurance cards exactly 1 day after getting them in the mail, sending L to a parent -only meeting with hubby 15 minutes after it started, can’t find a $50 GC – there are probably more but I haven’t figured it out yet). So today I started my ‘Get Yourself Organized’ Project. What is crazy is that I used to be incredibly organized and everyone who knows me thinks I still am. I know that I have high expectations for an organized home, especially with three little ones running around (all the more reason to organize EVERYTHING!). I’m starting with the home office area to help mitigate all the missing papers that seem to be plaguing me. This is the third time I’ve tried re-engineering this space and I’m hoping the last.  So far I’ve found the insurance cards (even though a duplicate set had already been received) and haven’t missed or misinterpreted any more meetings!

This past weekend we got to say ‘hello’ to some old friends from Texas (happy 40^th to you both!). We threw a little party for the birthday boy and girl and with all that our family had going on, I outsourced most everything for this shindig. It was the only way I was going to be able to squeeze everything we wanted into this busy holiday weekend. The only thing I didn’t get done this weekend: enough sleep!

Today we also said hello to fall (at least for a few days). With 100 degrees on Thursday and 67 today, I’m hoping that we’re not going to welcoming any sicknesses anytime soon! With the falling temperatures I’m reminded how much I love this time of year and getting excited to decorate for autumn and winter!

Lessons I learned today:

·       Pack something for L to do while waiting in car line to drop off and pick up J each day.

·       Scheduling tv time during dinner making time – makes such a difference.

·       Finding the right way to getting organized is crucial to staying organized – fingers crossed I get it right this time!