Praise or Punish?

Reminded today that, regardless of our age, we all need positive reinforcement.

While at that the gym one of my workout-mates complimented me on the results of all my hard work. MADE MY DAY. It also made me work extra hard while I was there and motivated me to stay on my healthy eating routine. I realized that I might be approaching this parenting thing the wrong way for some things.

I have to admit, the potty training thing with L has taken a turn for the worse. Have I mentioned that I like a clean house? In other words, pee on the floor doesn’t make me happy! So my natural reaction to an accident is to punish. Today I put her in timeout and made her clean the floor with a wipe (after I had cleaned it thouroughly). I'm not totally convinced that she isn't trained to pee on the toilet - part of me thinks that she is peeing in random places to get my attention (it's working!).  I’m re-thinking my strategy after my moment of workout praise. Should be showering L with kudos and brushing over the mistakes? I agree with praising children when they do the right thing but I do not think that overlooking their tantrums and misbehaving are good for them. Once again, I sure do wish I had a manual for this whole parenthood thing. If someone finds it, please share!

Lessons I learned today:

·       When a loved one is sick, hearing the phone ring is antagonizing. Prayers welcomed.

·      Pinterest has some great ideas when in a pinch for treats for a 2 year-old Harvest Party (http://pinterest.com/pin/229754018459669127/)

·       Praise and punishment both have a place in parenting, finding the balance between the two is why we make the big bucks J

Bored

You know you’re officially a grown up when having a weekend with nothing to do makes you happy.

I remember as a kid I would always complain about being bored. I don’t remember what my parents would tell me exactly but I’m pretty sure it was something like, “I’m sure you can find something to play with all of those toys you have.” There have only been a few times when J has complained about having nothing to do (L is not old enough to know what bored is just yet) and I find myself sounding eerily like my mother.  I found this idea on pinterest and am planning on using it when the time is right!

http://www.skiptomylou.org/2010/06/09/mom-im-bored-jar-from-somewhat-simple/

I, on the other hand, welcome the night or weekend where there is nothing on the schedule and I can sit and do absolutely nothing (well, if you consider nothing watching tv, pinning, blogging and having a glass of wine). As I’ve shared, hubby and I have had six weekends of Friday and Saturday night activities, so this weekend we were almost giddy to have NOTHING on the calendar (well, nothing except the in-laws in town, a Friday night football game, a Saturday morning soccer game and a pumpkin patch outing). Even though I wasn’t bored this weekend, I did find time for a little nap (it is so awesome when all three of my children nap at the same time!).

I actually think that I don’t know how to just sit still anymore. I tried to do it once this weekend and it lasted for about 90 seconds before I started thinking about all of the things around the house that needed to be done. That was the end of quiet time for mommy. I’m not sure when I acquired this affliction or if it has a cure. I’m not sure if all moms have this same problem but I’m pretty sure I’d be bothered by all of the things that are not done if I were to sit still and do nothing.

Lessons I learned today:

·         It is possible to take three children out to dinner and enjoy it!

·         I still haven’t outgrown naps.

·         I wouldn’t be as peaceful if I allowed myself to be bored.

In the Swing of Things

Today I realized that we’ve come a long way since the kids and I first started staying at home together on July 18^th.

You might remember when I tried to have a baking day a few months ago. Let’s just say, it didn’t go so well. So, when today's agenda called for baking, I approached it with fairly low expectations. I also knew that I was going to need to operate in shifts, which worked out well since the recipe I chose required three different steps. I’m happy to report that I finished all of the things I wanted to, there were no kid issues and everything (well, almost everything) was cleaned up before dinner. Yes, it took me five hours to make two things that would have normally taken 2, but it was actually kind of an enjoyable afternoon!

Another sign that we are all settling in to our new life – I have found how to keep all three children occupied so I have some time to get things done around the house (like baking). J will sit in front the TV at any given time of the day, which makes me feel a little guilty but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do! L has found a new favorite pastime – playing in the sink. We turn on the water, put a bowl, cup, ladle, turkey baster, etc and she is entertained for at least an hour. I’ve also figured out that E likes to sit in her new highchair and watch me cook and L play in the water. I realize thithese aren't super creative activities for anyone but it helps L with her gross motor skills (and she clearly loves it) and E gets to play with toys and help strengthen her neck muscles (yes, I am trying to make myself feel better and justify having my children entertain themselves!)

I also realized this week how different our family dinners have become since we started all sitting down together a year ago. At first, it was a mess – kids crying, food, being spilled, mom and dad up the whole time getting something and not being able to eat. Lately, we’ve been sitting down for dinner Sunday – Thursday as a whole family (even E sits at the table with us). As a result, the kids have found they like many of the same things that hubby and I have (some of their favorites are asparagus and couscous!) and we actually have a conversation! I’ve learned that the younger you start them at the family dinner table, the easier it is for them to understand the ‘rules’ (E is already learning her manners).

I’m not certain if things running smoothly is a result of my stellar parenting skills or simply that we’ve become used to our new routines. Either way – I’m not complaining!

Lessons I learned today:

·       Salted Caramel Bars are so good that when you take a bite you close your eyes (that’s some good stuff!)

·       Having out-of-town guests has the same effect on my kids as eating a candy bar – they turn in to crazy hyper kids (no, they did not eat the Salted Caramel Bars!).

·       It takes about three months to settle into a new routine with kids – something to remember the next time we will be making a big change.

Bag of Tricks

I’ve heard that women live longer than men. I’m guessing this is because we carry a purse and have more emergency items than men can fit into their pant pockets? In any case, if this is true – I will be living a LONG time! Especially if the emergency happens later in the week as I tend to clean out my bag over the weekend.

Monday I cleaned out my purse (which has been mistaken for a suitcase) which I hadn’t done for a while. I had to plan this activity while the kids were napping because I wasn’t sure what I would find that they’d be tempted with (sucker, McDonald’s toy, etc). Turns out, not only will I live a bit longer (aspirin, band-aids, allergy medicine, a variety of skin ointments) but I’ll look good too (5 tubes of lipstick, two combs, a bottle of hairspray, tide stain remover, mascara & eyelash curler and two pairs of sunglasses). My kids are all set for all of their needs too (diapers, wipes, bibs, extra pants, baby spoon, one bottle, formula, rattle, two pairs of little girls’ sunglasses, a baby’s winter hat) and we will all have plenty of entertainment should we ever be stranded (Droid, itouch, frisbee and two small blow up beach balls).

Crazy right? That’s just the stuff I put BACK! I I threw away a couple of old grocery lists, some candy wrappers and other crap that didn’t really belong. My kids know that if they want to make sure something comes along with us on an outing, they put it in ‘mommy’s bag’. Making my (almost) weekly clean out session an adventure and a trip down memory lane for the week.

I have a closet full of purses but I have carried the same one nearly every day for four years. When I was working my ‘bag’ led a double life as a briefcase and a purse/ diaper bag, but I never accumulated the variety of items I find now that I’m at home all the time (pretty sure they wouldn’t have let me through airport security with a butter knife in my purse!).

Not surprisingly, L often accessorizes with a purse of her own. Usually she uses it to carry other ‘necessary’ accessories (necklaces, sunglasses, etc). Sometimes I extend my clean out to L’s purses and occasionally find something surprising (a partially eaten bagel, a toy hammer). I’m thinking that there will be a time when I’m looking through her purse in search of something more than silly bands (SO not looking forward to that!).

Lessons I learned today:

·       As much as I wish, light bulbs do not change themselves.

·       A visit from the in-laws will give me the extra motivation I need get my to-do list for the week finished early.

·       They don’t make a purse big enough to be prepared for everything – going with the flow and figuring it out as you go are crucial qualities for a mom.

One Day

A few times every day I catch myself wishing for a life other than what I’m living today. Don’t get me wrong, I am in love with my life and all of the people in it, but there are some things that I can’t wait to pass.

Today I wished for a house without any crying – I know that day will come, I just wonder when. Heck, I’d just be happy for a day with just one kid crying at a time. I also wished for a dinner without any spilled milk, a quiet drive in the car, a trip to the store when I wasn’t asked for junk that we didn’t need and a night when I could sleep until the sun came up. Then I got a surprise hug from L, a ‘you’re the best mommy’ from J and a huge smile from E and I was wishing for time to STOP.

Today, while at the store with L, a woman overheard our conversation and said that she remembered those days with her kids and now they are 13 and 15 and don’t want to be with her. I am not looking forward to THAT day! I am also not looking forward to fighting over an outfit (oh wait, we do that already!), or waiting up for them to come home at night.

I try to remember that I can wait for a house of grumpy teenagers when everyone is having a meltdown at the same time so I don’t loose my mind (or my temper) with them. I also cherish the times they sit on my lap or say, ‘Need you mommy’ or ‘Hold you mommy’ and want to give me hugs and kisses before getting out of the car for school each morning (sigh). So for now, my plan for when things with three little ones get  to be too much, I count to ten (sometimes 20 or 30!), take a deep breath, give everyone a hug and kiss and thank my lucky stars!

Lessons I learned today:

·       According to L, pink is the best color and one must have one article of pink clothing on at all times. And pink M & M’s are the best!

·       I am officially loosing the laundry battle, I might as well give up (or redecorate my laundry room so I can enjoy spending so much time there).

·       One day my house will be filled with peace and quiet, until then I’m going to embrace and cherish all the chaos.

On the Potty Train

I have been procrastinating pulling the trigger on potty training L for about a month now just because I couldn’t commit an entire day to being at home, near a potty. Turns out, she didn’t need a whole day. Thursday after waking up from her nap she announced she wanted to pee on the potty and wear big girl panties. Mission potty training is underway and stage one is complete (still working on stage ‘two’ if you know what I mean).  Our stats for the weekend:

·         # of accidents (not counting the #2’s) = 2

·         # of trips to the bathroom = countless

·         # of changes of clothes (because of wet sleeves from washing hands) = see trips to bathroom

·         # of M & M’s and Skittles consumed = # of trips to the bathroom x 2

Going out of the house has become quite interesting. Not only do I have to think about having all of the necessary emergency items but I am getting to see the inside of each bathroom of every place we’ve been (sometimes more than once). Much of our potty adventure is due to the novelty of getting to use the ‘big girl potty’ which means we get to leave the dinner table AND wash our hands – which clearly are very exciting things for a 2 year old!

The last several weeks of partying has allowed me the privilege of seeing the inside of many washrooms around the country and I’ve realized a few things.

1.     I do not appreciate bathroom attendants. I am capable of getting my own paper towels and I do not like having someone watch me check myself out in the mirror!

2.     I DO appreciate clean facilities. There really is little worse than a dirty bathroom (especially dirty public ones – eeww!).

3.     Using the facilities where there are women who have been over-served gets less and less entertaining the older I get.

4.     Teaching public restroom etiquette to a two year old is going to be interesting.

Lessons I learned this weekend:

·       Potty training girls really IS easier than boys!

·       Living like a rock star for 6 weeks is long enough. Time to go back to my normal life.

·       Seeing the sense of accomplishment in my kids eyes, as I have with L this weekend, is reward enough for this momma.