Praise or Punish?

Reminded today that, regardless of our age, we all need positive reinforcement.

While at that the gym one of my workout-mates complimented me on the results of all my hard work. MADE MY DAY. It also made me work extra hard while I was there and motivated me to stay on my healthy eating routine. I realized that I might be approaching this parenting thing the wrong way for some things.

I have to admit, the potty training thing with L has taken a turn for the worse. Have I mentioned that I like a clean house? In other words, pee on the floor doesn’t make me happy! So my natural reaction to an accident is to punish. Today I put her in timeout and made her clean the floor with a wipe (after I had cleaned it thouroughly). I'm not totally convinced that she isn't trained to pee on the toilet - part of me thinks that she is peeing in random places to get my attention (it's working!).  I’m re-thinking my strategy after my moment of workout praise. Should be showering L with kudos and brushing over the mistakes? I agree with praising children when they do the right thing but I do not think that overlooking their tantrums and misbehaving are good for them. Once again, I sure do wish I had a manual for this whole parenthood thing. If someone finds it, please share!

Lessons I learned today:

·       When a loved one is sick, hearing the phone ring is antagonizing. Prayers welcomed.

·      Pinterest has some great ideas when in a pinch for treats for a 2 year-old Harvest Party (http://pinterest.com/pin/229754018459669127/)

·       Praise and punishment both have a place in parenting, finding the balance between the two is why we make the big bucks J

Bored

You know you’re officially a grown up when having a weekend with nothing to do makes you happy.

I remember as a kid I would always complain about being bored. I don’t remember what my parents would tell me exactly but I’m pretty sure it was something like, “I’m sure you can find something to play with all of those toys you have.” There have only been a few times when J has complained about having nothing to do (L is not old enough to know what bored is just yet) and I find myself sounding eerily like my mother.  I found this idea on pinterest and am planning on using it when the time is right!

http://www.skiptomylou.org/2010/06/09/mom-im-bored-jar-from-somewhat-simple/

I, on the other hand, welcome the night or weekend where there is nothing on the schedule and I can sit and do absolutely nothing (well, if you consider nothing watching tv, pinning, blogging and having a glass of wine). As I’ve shared, hubby and I have had six weekends of Friday and Saturday night activities, so this weekend we were almost giddy to have NOTHING on the calendar (well, nothing except the in-laws in town, a Friday night football game, a Saturday morning soccer game and a pumpkin patch outing). Even though I wasn’t bored this weekend, I did find time for a little nap (it is so awesome when all three of my children nap at the same time!).

I actually think that I don’t know how to just sit still anymore. I tried to do it once this weekend and it lasted for about 90 seconds before I started thinking about all of the things around the house that needed to be done. That was the end of quiet time for mommy. I’m not sure when I acquired this affliction or if it has a cure. I’m not sure if all moms have this same problem but I’m pretty sure I’d be bothered by all of the things that are not done if I were to sit still and do nothing.

Lessons I learned today:

·         It is possible to take three children out to dinner and enjoy it!

·         I still haven’t outgrown naps.

·         I wouldn’t be as peaceful if I allowed myself to be bored.

In the Swing of Things

Today I realized that we’ve come a long way since the kids and I first started staying at home together on July 18^th.

You might remember when I tried to have a baking day a few months ago. Let’s just say, it didn’t go so well. So, when today's agenda called for baking, I approached it with fairly low expectations. I also knew that I was going to need to operate in shifts, which worked out well since the recipe I chose required three different steps. I’m happy to report that I finished all of the things I wanted to, there were no kid issues and everything (well, almost everything) was cleaned up before dinner. Yes, it took me five hours to make two things that would have normally taken 2, but it was actually kind of an enjoyable afternoon!

Another sign that we are all settling in to our new life – I have found how to keep all three children occupied so I have some time to get things done around the house (like baking). J will sit in front the TV at any given time of the day, which makes me feel a little guilty but a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do! L has found a new favorite pastime – playing in the sink. We turn on the water, put a bowl, cup, ladle, turkey baster, etc and she is entertained for at least an hour. I’ve also figured out that E likes to sit in her new highchair and watch me cook and L play in the water. I realize thithese aren't super creative activities for anyone but it helps L with her gross motor skills (and she clearly loves it) and E gets to play with toys and help strengthen her neck muscles (yes, I am trying to make myself feel better and justify having my children entertain themselves!)

I also realized this week how different our family dinners have become since we started all sitting down together a year ago. At first, it was a mess – kids crying, food, being spilled, mom and dad up the whole time getting something and not being able to eat. Lately, we’ve been sitting down for dinner Sunday – Thursday as a whole family (even E sits at the table with us). As a result, the kids have found they like many of the same things that hubby and I have (some of their favorites are asparagus and couscous!) and we actually have a conversation! I’ve learned that the younger you start them at the family dinner table, the easier it is for them to understand the ‘rules’ (E is already learning her manners).

I’m not certain if things running smoothly is a result of my stellar parenting skills or simply that we’ve become used to our new routines. Either way – I’m not complaining!

Lessons I learned today:

·       Salted Caramel Bars are so good that when you take a bite you close your eyes (that’s some good stuff!)

·       Having out-of-town guests has the same effect on my kids as eating a candy bar – they turn in to crazy hyper kids (no, they did not eat the Salted Caramel Bars!).

·       It takes about three months to settle into a new routine with kids – something to remember the next time we will be making a big change.

Bag of Tricks

I’ve heard that women live longer than men. I’m guessing this is because we carry a purse and have more emergency items than men can fit into their pant pockets? In any case, if this is true – I will be living a LONG time! Especially if the emergency happens later in the week as I tend to clean out my bag over the weekend.

Monday I cleaned out my purse (which has been mistaken for a suitcase) which I hadn’t done for a while. I had to plan this activity while the kids were napping because I wasn’t sure what I would find that they’d be tempted with (sucker, McDonald’s toy, etc). Turns out, not only will I live a bit longer (aspirin, band-aids, allergy medicine, a variety of skin ointments) but I’ll look good too (5 tubes of lipstick, two combs, a bottle of hairspray, tide stain remover, mascara & eyelash curler and two pairs of sunglasses). My kids are all set for all of their needs too (diapers, wipes, bibs, extra pants, baby spoon, one bottle, formula, rattle, two pairs of little girls’ sunglasses, a baby’s winter hat) and we will all have plenty of entertainment should we ever be stranded (Droid, itouch, frisbee and two small blow up beach balls).

Crazy right? That’s just the stuff I put BACK! I I threw away a couple of old grocery lists, some candy wrappers and other crap that didn’t really belong. My kids know that if they want to make sure something comes along with us on an outing, they put it in ‘mommy’s bag’. Making my (almost) weekly clean out session an adventure and a trip down memory lane for the week.

I have a closet full of purses but I have carried the same one nearly every day for four years. When I was working my ‘bag’ led a double life as a briefcase and a purse/ diaper bag, but I never accumulated the variety of items I find now that I’m at home all the time (pretty sure they wouldn’t have let me through airport security with a butter knife in my purse!).

Not surprisingly, L often accessorizes with a purse of her own. Usually she uses it to carry other ‘necessary’ accessories (necklaces, sunglasses, etc). Sometimes I extend my clean out to L’s purses and occasionally find something surprising (a partially eaten bagel, a toy hammer). I’m thinking that there will be a time when I’m looking through her purse in search of something more than silly bands (SO not looking forward to that!).

Lessons I learned today:

·       As much as I wish, light bulbs do not change themselves.

·       A visit from the in-laws will give me the extra motivation I need get my to-do list for the week finished early.

·       They don’t make a purse big enough to be prepared for everything – going with the flow and figuring it out as you go are crucial qualities for a mom.

One Day

A few times every day I catch myself wishing for a life other than what I’m living today. Don’t get me wrong, I am in love with my life and all of the people in it, but there are some things that I can’t wait to pass.

Today I wished for a house without any crying – I know that day will come, I just wonder when. Heck, I’d just be happy for a day with just one kid crying at a time. I also wished for a dinner without any spilled milk, a quiet drive in the car, a trip to the store when I wasn’t asked for junk that we didn’t need and a night when I could sleep until the sun came up. Then I got a surprise hug from L, a ‘you’re the best mommy’ from J and a huge smile from E and I was wishing for time to STOP.

Today, while at the store with L, a woman overheard our conversation and said that she remembered those days with her kids and now they are 13 and 15 and don’t want to be with her. I am not looking forward to THAT day! I am also not looking forward to fighting over an outfit (oh wait, we do that already!), or waiting up for them to come home at night.

I try to remember that I can wait for a house of grumpy teenagers when everyone is having a meltdown at the same time so I don’t loose my mind (or my temper) with them. I also cherish the times they sit on my lap or say, ‘Need you mommy’ or ‘Hold you mommy’ and want to give me hugs and kisses before getting out of the car for school each morning (sigh). So for now, my plan for when things with three little ones get  to be too much, I count to ten (sometimes 20 or 30!), take a deep breath, give everyone a hug and kiss and thank my lucky stars!

Lessons I learned today:

·       According to L, pink is the best color and one must have one article of pink clothing on at all times. And pink M & M’s are the best!

·       I am officially loosing the laundry battle, I might as well give up (or redecorate my laundry room so I can enjoy spending so much time there).

·       One day my house will be filled with peace and quiet, until then I’m going to embrace and cherish all the chaos.

On the Potty Train

I have been procrastinating pulling the trigger on potty training L for about a month now just because I couldn’t commit an entire day to being at home, near a potty. Turns out, she didn’t need a whole day. Thursday after waking up from her nap she announced she wanted to pee on the potty and wear big girl panties. Mission potty training is underway and stage one is complete (still working on stage ‘two’ if you know what I mean).  Our stats for the weekend:

·         # of accidents (not counting the #2’s) = 2

·         # of trips to the bathroom = countless

·         # of changes of clothes (because of wet sleeves from washing hands) = see trips to bathroom

·         # of M & M’s and Skittles consumed = # of trips to the bathroom x 2

Going out of the house has become quite interesting. Not only do I have to think about having all of the necessary emergency items but I am getting to see the inside of each bathroom of every place we’ve been (sometimes more than once). Much of our potty adventure is due to the novelty of getting to use the ‘big girl potty’ which means we get to leave the dinner table AND wash our hands – which clearly are very exciting things for a 2 year old!

The last several weeks of partying has allowed me the privilege of seeing the inside of many washrooms around the country and I’ve realized a few things.

1.     I do not appreciate bathroom attendants. I am capable of getting my own paper towels and I do not like having someone watch me check myself out in the mirror!

2.     I DO appreciate clean facilities. There really is little worse than a dirty bathroom (especially dirty public ones – eeww!).

3.     Using the facilities where there are women who have been over-served gets less and less entertaining the older I get.

4.     Teaching public restroom etiquette to a two year old is going to be interesting.

Lessons I learned this weekend:

·       Potty training girls really IS easier than boys!

·       Living like a rock star for 6 weeks is long enough. Time to go back to my normal life.

·       Seeing the sense of accomplishment in my kids eyes, as I have with L this weekend, is reward enough for this momma.

Rock Star

One thing I’ve never dreamed of being is a Rock Star. I admire many, adore some, and would support my kids if that is what they wanted to do. Interestingly, now that I don’t have to be dressed up and in the office each day, I seem to be channeling my inner-rock star. I swear that I have found one reason or another to party most nights and every weekend since I’ve been home. There are several issues with being a rock star, the biggest plaguing me currently are: not fitting into my skinny jeans, spending more money than usual on concealer for the major bags under my eyes, not getting enough time to write my blog and moving out of contention for Mother-of-the-Year.

Last weekend hubby and I went to Philly for a college friend’s wedding where we packed in pretty much everything we could. My sister and her beau are in town from CA this weekend and we are doing our best to show them a good time. And Thursday we go to spend the weekend relaxing at the Greenbrier to celebrate hubby’s big 4-0. I’m normally a planner (we already have our vacation booked for next summer) but with all of this partying I’m operating just-in-time which has been an interesting experiment (one I don’t want to repeat anytime soon). Friday night we showed up to one of my fav dinner spots in the city with a reso made online earlier in the week. The only problem – reso was for two people and there were four of us – oops. My last couple of weeks have been like this – which is a bit unnerving for a type-A planner like me.

Luckily my life as a party animal has come during the school year which means there isn’t as much pressure to plan daily activities for the little ones and (most importantly) I get to take advantage of nap time when my double life starts to catch up with me – which is important not only for my appearance but also helps me keep my patience with my kids (at least most of the time!).

I think I’m a bit too old to be leading this new life and looking forward to recharging my batteries next weekend in time for lots of fun family fall and winter activities.

Lessons I learned this week:

·       Moe’s Southwestern Grill caters a good meal for a 4-year-old birthday party

·       You have to be at the airport, with boarding pass and through security 30 minutes before your flight is scheduled to depart (yes, we learned this the hard way!)

·       Leading a double life as a SAHM and a rock star is exhausting!

FOUR

J turned 4 yesterday. It’s hard to believe that four years ago hubby and I were on our own. Going out without scheduling a sitter, sleeping in, relatively simple travel, did I mention sleeping in? Lots has changed in the last four years, new house, three kids, new ‘job’.

I’m pretty sure that this is one of the first birthdays that will be remembered, so I tried to make it a bit special (donut with a candle for breakfast, balloons to greet him in the morning, special birthday outfit, treat of choice for school). I think the first birthday I remember is 6 but as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t have a lot of childhood memories. My theory is that if I create rituals for my kids on special occasions that we continue every year, they will be able to recall them once they become adults. We’ll see if it actually works.

In the spirit of using every (well, okay ‘some’) moment as a teaching moment, I decided to reinforce the number four yesterday (four pieces of everything at lunch time, etc). Not sure how much I was teaching as both J and L know the number four – but it was fun at least. It was also fun when we happened to be number four in car line this morning.

When I was thinking of the number four I recalled a conversation that I’ve had several times since E was born about everything accommodating a family of four. Once you hit five things get complicated – cars, restaurant tables, hotel rooms (two double beds), event seats (easy to get four in a row). Many have said that once you have three kids you may as well have 10 because things get so much more complicated. I can tell you that when J turns 10 I will NOT be making comments about having 10 kids!!!

We’ve been giving the ‘now that you’re four you have more responsibility and more is expected of you’ speech for one day and tonight when giving his final good nights he said he wanted to be three again. If only it were that easy – pretty sure I would be 30 again this year.

Lessons I learned today:

·      Road work in our neighborhood brings lots of trucks which means hours of entertainment for a certain 2-year-old and 4-year-old

·      Always buy one extra balloon to accommodate the one that will inevitably pop on your way home

·      Instituting rituals might help my kids remember their special days, but as their mom I’m sure going to remember them all

Parenthood

I often catch myself in the middle of the day looking at my kids and wondering how I got here. I mean, I KNOW how it all happened but the fact that I’m a parent, like, forever – that’s just crazy talk! Then I start to ask myself all of the hard questions that go along with parenting:

·         Am I teaching my kids the right things?

·         How will we handle the ‘hard’ conversations?

·         Will they make the right choices?

·         Will they be happy?

I know that these are the questions that every parent asks themselves and I know it will take a loooonnngg time to know the answers (if ever). I wonder if we will be able to measure incremental progress. At 4, 2, and 6 months we seem to be doing an okay job – they usually follow the rules, they say please and thank you (most of the time), they don’t talk back and they usually do as we ask. It’s not now that I really worry about, it’s when they start having to make choices that could really affect their lives (drugs, sex, etc). Once I had kids, I knew I would likely be at home with them during their middle school & high school times – just to be around if they needed me and to have a finger on the pulse of their activities to guide them through those difficult choices.

I’ve seen a lot of kids grow up despite their upbringing. I’ve also seen a lot of kids from privelage throw it all away. I wonder how these kids were raised and try to gleam lessons from their lives to translate into the raising of my kids. I’ve read a lot of parenting books and often take something from them (an article I read once talked about how telling a child that they were smart resulted in them not trying very hard. So instead of telling my kids how smart they are I try to tell them how proud I am for how hard they tried). I’m hopeful that I am reading the right things, shadowing the right behaviors and making the right parenting decisions. For now, I’ve decided that the most important things at this stage (and maybe as they get older too) are to be consistent when disciplining them, keep them out of harm’s way, be on the same page with hubby on how we approach every situation, hold them accountable for their choices, give them the appropriate level of responsibility and constantly make sure they know that they are loved .

Today’s difficult parenting decision was when L got to choose the pre-bedtime show. J did not agree with L’s choice and was very sad about it. I knew that L would watch about 90 seconds of the show and was tempted to let J get his way. But I knew that following through on my original decision would send messages to both L and J and hopefully one day they will understand that they don’t always get their way.

What I do know for sure is that my kids are happy, they get along with each other, and our babysitters come back – so we must be doing something right!

Lessons I learned today:

·       It takes about 4 months for a two year old to get comfortable in a new environment – I’m happy to report that yesterday L didn’t want to leave the gym because she was having so much fun (that’s a long way from sitting in front of the ladies working out crying out for me!)

·       Planning a weekend away without kids takes a lot of work (and notes!)

·       Parenting is hard work, keep your fingers crossed and hope you’re doing the right stuff!

What I Miss Most

Since I’ve ‘retired’ many people have asked what I miss most about working. I didn’t really have one thing that I missed the MOST. Of course, I miss the people – many of whom I’ve known for over a decade, I miss the intellectual stimulation, I miss the adult conversations & laughs. But there wasn’t one thing that was tugging at my heartstrings pulling me back into the corporate world. Until yesterday.

I’ve been accumulating fall/ winter wardrobes for the kids and sprinkling in a couple of non-professional items for myself. Plus, I was in need of a special occasion dress for a wedding hubby and I are going to this weekend. So, yesterday I was running these errands and went to DSW (Designer Show Warehouse – for those that aren’t familiar it’s HUGE and has all kinds of designer shoes, even high end selections). It was the first time since I quit that I wished I was still working. I miss all those fancy shoes!! I have kept a couple of my favorites (which I haven’t worn once since I left work) and have absolutely no reason to get any more– which makes me incredibly sad (I did try on several pair knowing that I had no need to buy them, but they were so cute on!). I walked out of DSW with a $21 purchase (using my $10 reward certificate), which was the smallest amount I have ever spent there.

I recognize that buying shoes is not a good reason to go back to work. I also realize that if this is the thing I miss most about working, I made the right decision to stay at home with my munchkins. I am pretty sure, however; that I will continue to covet a good pair of shoes and probably make a few excuses to continue acquiring new ones (and I wonder why my children like shoes…).

Lessons I learned today:

·         I will get emotional on this day each year and I’m okay with that

·         Dress kids in layers (or bring extra clothes with me) for outdoor evening meals in September

·         The size of my shoe wardrobe has decreased but my love for shoes has not

What a Difference a Year Makes

Like many, I am a Facebook user and I’ve noticed they have added a new feature about your post a year ago today – whenever it shows up on my page I think about how little has changed in my daily routine (1^st Pumpkin Spice Latte of the year a year ago today and interestingly today I had my first Pumpkin Spice Latte for this year).

Today, however, it was clear how much really has changed this past year.  Besides the obvious – retired from my job and had another kid - today J had a soccer game and it really hit home. Last year (when he was almost 3 and we admittedly started him too early at a sport he had really no exposure to), J was a mess on the soccer field. He was fine at practice, just kicking the ball around but when game time came he barely saw the field. It was so bad that hubby wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near J during the games because he would get so mad that J would cry instead of play ball.

We’re two games into this season and the change is astonishing. J is much more aggressive and very into the game, even when on the sideline. Change doesn’t happen easily though  and during his first game we saw a lot of tears. Granted, it was while he was playing (and in 4 instances while he scored a goal), but there way crying for a majority of the time he was in. Today, I’m happy to report, there were tears only at the very end (after he got robbed of a goal and pushed onto the ground – 4 year old soccer is rough!).

A year ago I was about 2 minutes pregnant with E who is now almost 6 months old and is growing like a weed. Also a year ago we were getting a full night of sleep on a regular basis in our house – not so much these days. Both L & E have taken to waking up multiple times during the night which makes for a tired mommy and daddy.

I wonder what we will be doing a year from now… planning J’s 5^th birthday party (wow, really?), watching J AND L play soccer on Saturdays, chasing E as she runs around the house. One thing I know for sure, every year at this time I will take a moment to remember all of those lost on 9-11.

Lessons I learned today:

·         The salmon at Longhorn is surprisingly yummy

·         L is quite the monster when she doesn’t get her proper nap

·         ‘They’ (whoever they are) are right – the days are long but the years go by SO quickly

Singing My Praises

One of the biggest differences as a stay-at-home mom from the professional world that any mom (working or not) can attest, is the amount of praise you get for the job you do.

As I think I’ve shared previously, I am a very competitive person - I like to win, I like to get my way and I like it when my children do as I say. As a SAHM I’m pretty sure I’m not ‘winning’ any races, I sure don’t get my way very often, nor do my children choose to listen to me all the time. But surprisingly, at the end of the day I feel pretty successful.

Anything I do, I try to do it to the best of my ability - not because I think that anyone else expects it of me but simply because I expect it of myself. Let’s take my organizing project, for example. I’m currently on day 2 and haven’t progressed passed the kitchen workspace and pantry (which is kind of the workspace annex, what with the printer, printer paper and all). When hubby got home tonight I was sure to parade him through all of my stellar accomplishments for the day.

I also have to admit that it makes me pretty happy when out of the blue J tells me that I’m a good mom. I’m not sure why he says it. It’s usually not right after I’ve corrected his manners or prepared an especially healthy lunch for him. But it still makes my heart smile.

I came across this article (http://www.morningsun.net/living/x934432237/The-Invisible-Mother)  today, posted by a friend on FB, and I thought it was particularly piognent. It was also the inspiration for today’s blog topic. I hope that all of the moms out there take heed and know that I’m giving you tons of kudos for the job you do!

Lessons I learned today

·       The large purse contains lots of treasures to keep L busy during car line – today it was a comb

·       Rainy days, with good naps and some mellow music make for some kind, well-behaved children

·       Getting to know my kids better and watch them play during the day is praise enough for this job

Sweet Dreams

I always go in to give my kids one final kiss goodnight before I hit the hay and always whisper ‘sweet dreams’. For almost 4 years they have taken this wish to heart, until now….

For the last several weeks L has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming for ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’. At first we thought it was night terrors, but after a few days we realized that it was just a bad habit. We were hoping that she would grow out of it and return to her good-sleeping self…. No such luck. Night before last she woke up SIX TIMES (plus E woke up once to eat – which is also a new phenomenon). So, as any good parent of a two-year-old would do, we began to negotiate. Needless to say our tactics didn’t work so well (we would be terrible international spies). Granted, she only woke up twice (11:30 pm and 5am) but we opted to play hardball in hopes of breaking her. Instead, she ended up waking us and the baby up – even J was a bit more tired than usual this morning and complained about L’s crying. I’m not sure what the remedy is (or even the cause at this point), but I’m hopeful that we’ll get to the bottom of it soon.

As you might remember today (Wednesday) is laundry day for our bed linens. I am always excited to catch some z’s on Wednesday nights as I find I sleep so well with some clean sheets. I remember an Oprah episode a while back where she mentioned that her sheets were washed every 3^rd day. As soon as I discover how to make my millions, I’m thinking I might adopt this strategy! I also sleep with a fan; not so much for the air circulation but for the noise of the motor. This is a sleep time habit passed down to me by my mother and grandmother, so I would be breaking family tradition by not introducingit  my children, right? In my defense I think that the noise helps drown out all of the background noise of the house (crying babies included).

Lessons I learned today:

·       Need to set the alarm when daddy doesn’t need to wake up at his usual time – everyone got dressed and fed (L in the car – a nice activity for car line!) just in the nick of time

·       The process of getting organized can get quite messy (day #2 and I’m still making progress!)

      ·       When your children don’t have sweet dreams, sadly neither do you

Hello again

So sorry to all of my faithful followers for being away for so long. I been stuck in a period of crazy busy, combined with a bit of lazy and a touch of pinterest.com addiction. Anyway, things continue to move along in our house with the usual hiccups along the way.

Both J and L have started school… Alleluia. J started last week with a phase-in period, today was his first ‘full’ day (9am – 11:45am). L has her phase in this week and starts full time on Monday (M & W 9:30 – 11:30). So while I really don’t know what my ‘school-year’ life will be like quite yet, I must say I’m getting kinda excited!

During the last couple of weeks I have discovered that I have become incredibly unorganized (lost insurance cards exactly 1 day after getting them in the mail, sending L to a parent -only meeting with hubby 15 minutes after it started, can’t find a $50 GC – there are probably more but I haven’t figured it out yet). So today I started my ‘Get Yourself Organized’ Project. What is crazy is that I used to be incredibly organized and everyone who knows me thinks I still am. I know that I have high expectations for an organized home, especially with three little ones running around (all the more reason to organize EVERYTHING!). I’m starting with the home office area to help mitigate all the missing papers that seem to be plaguing me. This is the third time I’ve tried re-engineering this space and I’m hoping the last.  So far I’ve found the insurance cards (even though a duplicate set had already been received) and haven’t missed or misinterpreted any more meetings!

This past weekend we got to say ‘hello’ to some old friends from Texas (happy 40^th to you both!). We threw a little party for the birthday boy and girl and with all that our family had going on, I outsourced most everything for this shindig. It was the only way I was going to be able to squeeze everything we wanted into this busy holiday weekend. The only thing I didn’t get done this weekend: enough sleep!

Today we also said hello to fall (at least for a few days). With 100 degrees on Thursday and 67 today, I’m hoping that we’re not going to welcoming any sicknesses anytime soon! With the falling temperatures I’m reminded how much I love this time of year and getting excited to decorate for autumn and winter!

Lessons I learned today:

·       Pack something for L to do while waiting in car line to drop off and pick up J each day.

·       Scheduling tv time during dinner making time – makes such a difference.

·       Finding the right way to getting organized is crucial to staying organized – fingers crossed I get it right this time!

Groupies

I have groupies. I know, you’re jealous. They are my biggest fans. I’m thinking that they will be life-long fans. Although I have to admit, sometimes I wish they were someone else’s fans. Like when they come with me into the restroom, or after I have heard ‘mommy’ for the 100^th time in one day (before 9am!).

Here is what I find interesting, I am a tough mom. I discipline regularly and I don’t think I am all that much fun (which daddy is). So at the end of the day, once daddy get’s home, why do they still want me? 

I love my kids (something I had to remind myself of several times today), and as I’ve said before – I want to be the first person they call when they are hurt, in trouble or want to give hugs (and kisses), but I reeeeaallly just want to be able to pee all by myself.

I guess kids understand all of the different displays of love and show their appreciation all. the .time. And really, I DO love my kids, more than anything. And I wouldn’t trade being home with them for anything (but I am still kinda excited about school starting next week!).

Lessons I learned today:

·       Jalapeno popper grilled cheese (grilled cheese with cream cheese and jalapenos) is DELICIOUS!

·       We need to start keeping better track of our library books. I do NOT want to pay the fine for a St. Patrick’s Day book (in August!).

·       Having a fan club really is quite cool (even if they do want to watch you pee).

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my...

To celebrate our last few days of summer and the nice weather we’ve been having, I decided to take the kids to the zoo today. Little did I know that I didn’t have to go anywhere to be in a zoo J

I should have known it was going to be a wild ride when E decided to bless us with some quality time at 1AM and 5AM. Her 5AM wake up proceded to wake everyone else a bit earlier than normal causing the gremlins to join the family for the day.

I realize that lack of sleep is not good for my children – which is why I am so structured about their schedules – or at least I used to be. I’m beginning to understand that keeping a third kid on a nap schedule is difficult when you are running around with the older children. I’m hoping that with the start of school next week, I will be able to get some sort of structure together for E so she can nap in her crib (as opposed to her carseat, which she’s getting too comfortable with). We've also gotten lazy about what time they go to bed during the summer since they don't have to wake up early anymore (but what we have failed to realize is that they are still waking up at the same time!)

I also know that kids crave structure, which is why I am so mad at myself for not having more structure for our summer break. Especially since J and L have had a very structured routine since they were 3 months old. I had a ‘light bulb’ moment today… realizing that the reason why J has been so grumpy lately is because he has been off his schedule for 6 weeks now. I am hoping that having a new schedule will help turn our house back into a home and not the crazy zoo it has become.

Lessons I learned today:

·       You better be prepared if you’re going to take three kids under four to the zoo by yourself.

·       Having Daddy play outside with the kids when he gets home gives me some nice quite time to cook a proper dinner.

·       I had better figure out a new schedule so that my kids aren’t mistaken for zoo animals.

Back to School

Our local schools start on Wednesday and the town is all a buzz with everyone getting ready.

I went grocery shopping today (yes, Sunday is supposed to be my grocery day but I had to go to an antique fair and take a nap yesterday instead) and all of the deals were about back to school (10 packs of lunch meat for $10 – who would eat 10 packs of lunch meat in a week?). There weren’t many people at my gym class today --- my guess is they are all getting everything ready for Wednesday. The school parking lots are full of teacher & staff cars getting ready for the students, and kids are not out as late at night (assuming parents have already started the school night early bedtime schedules).

I love back to school time. I always have. Maybe that’s why I went to school for so long? I love buying school supplies – I still buy them as a 30-something (for myself, not my kids!). I must admit that I am a bit jealous of all the families getting ready to send their little ones back to school. Not just because they get to buy looonnngg lists of school supplies but also because they get to have someone else entertain their children for several hours during the day!

J begins school next week but it’s just a transition period; so 1 hour on Wed, 1.5 on Thurs and 2 on Friday. Then on Tuesday after Labor Day he will start his morning schedule (9am – 11:45am). I must admit I’m excited for him to start school – not just because I will be free of his whining (which has become his predominate way of communicating lately) but because I think he’s really going to thrive in the Montessori environment, I hope so at least J

On the contrary, I’m worried about L who will only be going to school two mornings a week for two hours. She went to her previous school since birth and still cried every morning when she was dropped off. I’m thinking that with just two days for two hours, she’ll spend all of her time crying and not really enjoy herself (now, I know that she is fine about 4 seconds after we leave but it’s going to be painful just two days a week!).

I also like back to school season because it means football is here and fall is right around the corner – two of my favorite things! Can’t wait to start eating pumpkin treats, wearing sweaters and cheering on my favorite teams (since my NFL team will be lucky to win 2 games this season, I’m turning my attention to our local high school where my little brother will play his senior year – GO BIRDS!).

Lessons I learned today:

·      Going to bed early means nothing if you get woken up 3 times before sunup (argh!)

·      Pinterest is addicting and could be blamed for me not being nominated for mother-of-the-year this year

·      Organizing for back to school also means organizing everything else (bonus!)

Party Dress

I often err on the side of being over-dressed in most situations. In fact, my summer uniform happens to be sundresses – which are easy to dress up or down (and are easy and comfortable with no pesky waste band to contend with). I also go shoe shopping at the beginning of every summer to buy one pair of metallic flip flops that I can wear with everything (I wear them so much that I have to throw them away at the end of the season).

So I suppose it’s not surprising that my children have started to request outfits that would put them into the ‘over dressed’ category. J has taken an affinity to collared shirts. So much so that if there isn’t one in his drawer in the morning he throws a fit (in preparation for him starting Montessori school in a few weeks (who teach independence), he now picks out his own outfits. Of course, I put the outfits together in the drawer – tshirt on top of shorts). He has long loved his ‘fancy’ shoes and asks to wear them whenever we go out (regardless if the situation merits dressing up or not).  He is often the best-dressed person in our family when we go out (I’m certain people think that I’m dressing him).

Similarly, L has started to request ‘party dresses’ in the morning when getting dressed. She also has specific ideas about which party dress she would like to wear that day – which causes some problems when she selects something that is too special to wear to the park. As with any fashion conscience diva, she also likes to accessorize. Usually with silly bands and a necklace but has recently added a sun hat and sunglasses. I have learned to plan ahead when we are leaving the house to ensure that she has all of her accoutrements. I have also learned that she gets a lot of attention when all dolled up, which means that the rest of us get attention too – so I’m sure to look in the mirror before going out to make sure everything is in it’s correct place!

So far E hasn’t requested any special wardrobe items. But I am a little worried about the precedent set by her big brother and sister. I’m also a bit worried about how our new  getting dressed routine will affect our morning schedules once school starts (before we were all at home together, I would lay out all of the kids’ clothes the night before so there was no debate or consideration about what to wear in the morning). I’m guessing I’ll have everyone make their decision before heading to bed each night to minimize the disruption in our morning routine (I’m not really a morning person so I try to minimize as much debate as possible before I finish my necessary 2 cups of coffee).

Lessons I learned today:

·       Don’t forget to set the DVR to record the new season of Project Runway! I have some making up to do next week.

·       Getting a big payday from the consignment shop provides mixed emotions (excited for the big pay day and a big sick about how much money was originally spent on all those clothes).

·       Giving kids the opportunity to pick out their own outfits provides countless smiles and memories.

Moooommmyyyy...

I’m thinking of buying one of those counters that people working a carnival use to keep track of the number of people coming through the gates - just to count the number of times I hear ‘mommy’ in one day. I swear that it’s at LEAST 100 times before 9 AM!!

I always answer my kids when they call my name, well – when they call me ‘mommy’ (which I prefer over ‘Mom’ at this age!). I answer even if they just say ‘mommy’, even when it’s 7 times in a row with nothing to say after. Sometimes I think they just want to say my name to hear how it sounds (as if they’ve never said it before). I love that my kids always want to talk to me about something, really I do, but do they have to talk to me ALL. THE. TIME??

Of course, I like having my cake and eating it too – so when my kids fall or when they are sick, I WANT to be the person they want (like when L was coming out of anesthesia on Monday I wanted to be the first person to hold her). I also smile a bit when my ‘name’ is the first they say when they wake up in the morning (or in the middle of the night, as the case may be). BUT, at the end of the day, when I’ve heard ‘mommy’ no less than ‘one millliiiooon’ times, I am ready to change my name!

As I was thinking about this blog post, the song by Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody, kept coming to me so I Googled (since when did Googled become a ‘verb’?) the lyrics. While the whole song doesn’t really ‘speak’ to my SAHM journey, I think the first verse does a good job:

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy-
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
A little high, little low,

Lessons I learned today:

·       It’s going to be difficult to be a Bengals fan once again this year

·       An outing to Target counts as an ‘activity’ for my children (get a treat, play ‘I Spy’, etc) – fun, educational AND productive (my kind of outing!)

·       I will always love being my kids’ ‘mommy’, no matter how many times they need to say my name!

Work it Out

So I have been doing really well with my exercise regime since May 4. Then vacation hit. I had big plans to go running a few times and even took my tension bands to keep my muscles up to snuff. Turns out the only thing I really worked out while on vacation was my liver. Needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to getting back at it this morning. Interestingly my muscles remembered what they were supposed to do but my feet didn’t. Not surprisingly I was huffier than usual and thought to myself, “I’d better be careful that I don’t hurt myself being as tired as I am.’ I promise, 30 seconds after having that thought, I turned my ankle and down I went --- resulting in a lot of attention being paid to me; laying on the floor, sweaty, not looking my best! I bounced back and finished the workout a little more red in the face than before (which is hard to do considering how flushed I get).

Whenever J & L fight over a toy or argue about something, I tell them to ‘work it out’.  Very rarely do they actually find a solution to their problem. More often I end up sending them both to time out or taking the toy under debate. I chose this approach about a year ago after I found myself always asking J to concede because he was older. I was certain that he was not always in the wrong and that I was being unfair to him. While I’m not sure if my new approach is any better than before, I’m hoping that eventually they will be able to work it out without me.

As we approach the end of summer I’ve been working out our school year schedules. My reign as SAHM started during the summer so this new routine will be new to me. I’m guessing that I will welcome the busier days, the mandated structure and new adventures. Only a week and a half left!

Lessons I learned today:

·         10 days is too long to go without doing some sort of physical activity

·         Always accept an invitation to go to a friend’s pool (especially when there is a water slide)

·         Sometimes it takes patience, sometimes creativity, often it takes time but eventually we can work it out!

Early Day = Long Day

Today started out a bit earlier than most Mondays – and certainly earlier than we were ready for on the heels of a relaxing vacation.

L was scheduled for her second set of tubes this morning. So we got up bright and early to head out to our nationally ranked Children’s Hospital – which I feel very fortunate to have literally 15 minutes from our house (not that I ever want to have a need beyond tubes to use it!). I have been lucky enough to only have to visit this place for very minor procedures and each time leave with overwhelming feelings of gratitude and sympathy. Gracious that for all intents and purposes, my children are very healthy and extremely sympathetic to the families I see who have children dealing with life and death situations.

My visit this morning gave me the serenity to help me get through this day. For several reasons, it was probably my hardest one as a SAHM yet: 1) First Monday after a week of vacation (meaning several other people could take on mommy duties throughout the day giving me many breaks), 2) An early wake-up call by E (early meaning 3 am), 3) Stress induced headache that I couldn’t shake and 4) lots of chores to ‘clean up’ after being away for a week.

Needless to say, not one of my most successful SAHM days. I’m wondering how long it takes to recover from being ‘off’ – will I be back in the game tomorrow or will it take a few extra days? The silver lining today was that all three munchkins were still tuckered from a week of playing in the sand (plus L had some extra help with anesthesia) so they all took extra-long naps (not sure I would have been able to do it otherwise).

Lessons I learned today:

·       It’s easy to entertain kids on days that aren’t 90+ degrees – just play outside for an hour or so!

·       When at Children's Hospital you can visit their pharmacy for a $1 bottle of children's tylenol.

·       It takes more than a day to recover from a week long vacation (does that mean it takes longer to recover from a longer vacation? I’m willing to find out!).

Welcome Home!

We had a wonderful time on Lake Michigan last week – really enjoying the 80 degree days and 60 degree nights (no AC, windows open). We spent some great time with our family and met some new friends too. During our car ride on the way home we all talked about our favorite parts of the week:

·         J – going under water and playing baseball on the beach

·         L – playing on the beach

·         E – didn’t really have much to say (being 4 ½ months and all), but I’m guessing she really liked being held all week

·         Me – playing with my kids every day

·         Hubby – Spending time with family and seeing his parents spend time with our kids

Lessons I learned while on vacation:

·       I completely forgot about all of the items on my to-do lists back at home. I even caught myself wondering how nice it would be to spend a summer not having to worry about all of the things that have to be done at home. Then I wondered if I stayed for a long(er) period of time if I’d just make a new to-do list at a different location (then I’d end up in a worse spot having two to-do lists, always having one I couldn’t do anything about when I was at the other place).

·       I spend several hours (too many really) a day watching tv. On vacation, I didn’t watch (nor did I have the desire to watch) any shows. I wonder if this was because I knew all of my shows were being taped on our DVR at home? Or, if I was too busy watching my kids play and the sunset to worry about it. (I’d like to think I’m evolved enough to blame it on the latter but I’m pretty sure it had a bit to do with the former too).

·        Having a beach literally outside your front door makes for HOURS of amusement for an almost 4 year old and a 2 year old. They will find all kinds of things to do in the sand; play baseball, dig with shovels, play trucks, build sand castles… They will also be crazy tired at the end of every day. I found myself wishing I had a beach at our home for those days (of which there seem to be many) I need help finding things for them to do.

·        I went to bed later than usual (having too much fun with my in-laws), woke up earlier (thanks to no curtains and the sunrise), only took one nap and didn’t seem very tired at all. I wonder if it was all the fresh air or just the fact that I was on vacation (and didn’t have a to-do list to wake up to) that gave me all the extra energy. Regardless, I wish I could bottle it!

·        Vacations really ARE all they are cracked up to be!

Here are some pics from our week: