Outsourcing

Last night I had dinner with my ‘foodie’ girls at our local culinary institute. As usual, we enjoyed some yummy eats and great conversation. Two of us SAHMs were talking about how to get it all done. I’ve made no secrets about the fact that I outsource many parts of my job. I would love to sit here and say that I am superwoman and can do everything all by myself. The fact is,sadly, I am not super-woman (or any other super hero for that matter), and I can only do so much and remain a pleasant, caring person.

As I’ve said before, I am an ultra-competitive person. So, when I started my SAHM adventure, I wanted to do it all, all by myself. It was about 2 months in to it that I realized I couldn’t do it all – keep my house up to the cleanliness standard I am used to, keep up with the ‘Jones’’ yard/ flowers next door, entertain my children, exercise, cook a healthy, balanced meal for every lunch & dinner and have something left for my husband at the end of the day. I realized that by trying to be all things to all people, I was unhappy, ungrateful and unloving – not a good combination for a mother of three and wife!

At first, I outsourced in the old-fashion way – paying someone to do it for me but I realized that it doesn’t have to be a fee-for-service arrangement. My sister in Phoenix told me about this awesome arrangement she has with other women in her church group where you earn tokens/ credit for watching other children that you can use later to drop off your kids. My cousin here in town has bailed me out on several occasions when I needed a last minute sitter. She would never take compensation for her time so I offered to return the favor. We now have an arrangement where I watch her two kids one morning so she can go to Yoga and she watches mine so I can play tennis.

I’ve also talked with two different neighbor friends about a meal exchange one night a week. One night a week I will make dinner for my family + 2 others. Then I get their meals two other nights a week (and I don’t have to cook- awesome!). We haven’t started this yet, but I suspect that once we do we will wonder how we ever lived without it!

Not really outsourcing, but another strategy I’m working on to help reduce my out-of-pocket expense, is to exchange my talents for other services. For example – I am taking tennis lessons and have J signed up for a 4-lesson session in July at the same place. My instructore (who is also the director of the tennis center) mentioned that enrollment for youth programs has been low so he’s thinking about cutting the number of days. I told him I would use my best social-networking/ marketing expertise to get more folks to sign up. I’m thinking (hoping) that we are able to lots of kids to sign up and J will get a reduced enrollment fee.

So, while I still do pay for some things, I am trying to find more creative ways to become a fulfilled,  happy SAHM.

Lessons I learned today:

·      Outsourcing dinner at a nice restaurant with good friends is TOTALLY worth it!

·      Working on helping to plan my sister’s wedding in CA, I’ve realized that while some things can/ should be outsourced, there are some that are more fun to do yourself.

·      There are no right/ wrong answers for how to be a SAHM. If I feel good about the ‘job’ I have done 4 or 5 days a week, I am good with that!